That little lump in my throat keeps growing bigger and I can't find a way to make it stop. School is getting harder and the days are getting shorter. This cold isn't helping much either. My amazing boyfriend gives me a hand and a  positive word when I need one. I don't know what I'd do with out him since lately all my best friend has been concerned with is her 'single girl problems' as she puts it. oh well. Life has its ups and downs.

some hurt never goes away.

wait, what? things are actually going the way i've wanted them to all along? that's pretty crazy. but i love it(:

can you talk to me about something real? a little substance in our conversations would be nice. i like meat. im a big girl. i can chew it. i wont choke. i promise.

Through.

im tired of being good. im tired of not being trusted. im tired of being 12 again. im tired of crying every night. im tired of feeling like shit and having to look like im fine. im tired of thinking to hard. im tired of trying. im tired of this. im just tired. im going to bed. goodnight.

i hurt. and i say things i dont mean. and i just want this to be over. all of it. i want to crawl into a hole and close my eyes and melt away. im so through.

choose your battles

thats a statement i really need to embrace. sometimes its good just not to argue for the sake of not being heard. to many emotions at once cause things to be said that you dont really mean. well, they may be meant in to moment, but they make you feel like crap after the fact. #experience