time for a listtt

1. so we started the new semester wednesday. i have hard classes, but it makes the day go by faster cause i'm more concentrated on my work and not the clock. its excitinggg. i have new classes, with new people. which comes with new problems. but thats okayy.

2. 180 weekend was fun. the thing a remember most was our service project. we had to clean a house that a guy had inherited from his parents, but it was extremely dirty and he'd had a stroke and couldn't clean it up. i'm pretty sure the guys parents were horders or close to it cause the place was awful. i don't know how he lived there. there were bugs and jars full of leaves and we found denchers in the kitchen cabinet! but the guy we helped was so sweet and so greatful for what we did and prayed for us when we left. the whole weekend was really fun minus a little drama here and there. but hey, what do you expect with a group of girls together for 48 hours.

3. last weeekend i also figured out that people aren't always who you think they are, no matter how long you've known them. people have all kinds of sides and personalities that come out at different times. its just frustrating to find out someone is not who you thought they were. which has been happening to me a lot lately. its hard to trust people when you know that in the future they could completely betray you or just strait out lie to your face.

4. its hard when people are struggling with things that you cant relate to. all that i can say is sorry or you'll get through it or they don't really mean it. i can't really give advice. i guess thats good sometimes, but its just weird. i can't even imagine some of the things people tell me and i feel stupid just sayin..well sorry. its just hard to have friends that have issues. even tho i love em. id just like to know what to say to make it all better.

5. i can not wait until i get my liscense. i want that little bit more freedom to just be able to do what i want when i want and where i want. its gonna be greatt. im hoping my mom trusts me enough to let me actually drive places when i get it tho.

Oh life. Why must you do this to me? Lately my life consists of jack johnson, ingrid michaelson, and various yoga streches. If i could pick anythibg to describe my state of being right now it would be a cub of water. Its just sitting there. It has the ability to save lives, nourish, and revive. But it cant do anything until someone does something with it. But sadly, i just want to be cooped in my little cup where its safe and there is hardly risk of mistake or changes or loss or failure. Well see how long that lasts..

How long can you long for something before you break and the pressure overcomes you? Its been a long, hard year. Nothing significant to give me and..more than happy moments. I guess im still dancing in the rain. I hate weather.

Im sorry im not the perfect girl, the perfect friend, the perfect daughter or the perfect sister. I'm trying my best. I have to many flaws. But im a teenager. Crap happens. Im not saying crap is okay, but peole do things they regret. And those people dont need you to tell them how wrong it was or what a terrible person they are for doing it. Trust me. It hurts enough as it is.