I've learned two things this week. You can't hold on to things that mattered yesterday, and never let go of the things that will still matter tomorrow.

sometimes it hurts to be a speck.

finally.

ive finally let go of everything. ive found that i am merely a speck on the face of the universe and what i do in life really doesn't matter. i am here for a reason, but that reason is for me to figure out. i will try to be as good as i can. i will not judge. everyone is only trying to do the best they can for themselves. its not my job to tell them how to do their life right. ive found love. love that i cant get away from. it feels great and im not letting it go for anything. its more than ive ever felt before. i dont even care anymore. its just gonna happen. theres a time for everyone. i think this is mine. no. i know this is mine.

"lets do it tonight cause we might not get tomorrow." thats how im living this year. live life loud. no regrets. no looking back. this is it.

sometimes i feel like i am suspended in mid air and someone has tied strings to my limbs and is controlling all my actions. i don't know why i do the things i do. they just happen. its like i can't make myself do what i know i need to do, but i do the things i know i shouldn't. yeahh i know its all my fault. oh well.

a girl that graduated class of '11 died yesterday. i didn't know her. i don't know the details. i just know she overdosed. lifes to short. my heart hurts.

sometimes the best days don't involve big electornics and things to entertain us. i dont need air conditioning or flat screen tvs. today was a great day. and all i really did was sit on a plastic float and float down a river with my best friend. oh yeahh. and sing reaaally loud and dance with her in the car with my mom(: today was a good day. oh yeahh. and the banana pancakes and cheese cake ice cream weren't too bad either.