i am so controlled. have so many limitations. as small as don't pee in the yard. as large as don't leave the house without parents knowing. i must go to church ever wednesday and sunday. i must go to school for 6 hours every day. i must breathe as long as i am alive. i must be named leah kathryn mull untill i am 18 when i have the decision to change it or get married. or keep it. i can't drive alone until i am 16. i cant date a boy alone until i'm 16. i can't buy drugs. i cant drink alcohol. i can't punch someone in the face when i get angry. i am on lock down until i am of legle age. to be an adult. my own person. for my safty? some of it is. but i would like to have fun while i can. instead of being nailed to the ground like a dog. i dont want to be a dog. i want to be like the rest of the teenagers i know. alive. breathing. but thriving. i dont want to be a bad person. i just want to be more than good. not a stick in the mud.
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For what do you wish to be known?
But, also, I understand the feeling. The feeling of being sooo tied down. I'm overwhelmed, overworked, and not trusted to do what I want to without someone following behind me telling me exactly what I haven't done. But freedom is a lifestyle of responsibility and though we crave it like air, I'm sure if we had all of it we wanted it would surely crush us.
Mikaella! Your last statement - "freedom is a lifestyle of responsibility and though we crave it like air, I'm sure if we had all of it we wanted it would surely crush us." That's true, and that's something you'll reeeeallyyy learn when you get to college...cuz you will have freedom - start the paper now & work little by little so i won't be stressed or go hang out with friends and wait til the night before it's due, not getting any sleep. However Leah dear I felt the exact same way you do when I was in high school, especially my senior year, bc things/rules hadn't really changed/loosened much for me from 9th to 12th grade. But they will, eventually. Possibly even to the point where you wish you could have the simple/small amount of responsibilities of high school. and i know that notion sounds completely crazy to you now, haha it did to me when i was in your place, but just wait. :)I'm glad you're enjoying your classes though. That is ALWAYS a plus.
& Sorry I'm commenting on like everything you post..I just ahhhh know how you feel and want you to know it will get better/more enjoyable than it is now. And you too Mikaella! Same thoughts to you!! :)
haha i love you anna :)
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