and it goes on...

good good good and gone. everything goes so greatt for a few weeks...and then i get stabbed in the throat twice in one weekend. thanks. and it was supposed to be the best weekend ever. i've spent half of it in the fetile position.

lovely.

yeshh :)

i used to drag my feet everyday. watch the clock while i sat in class. look up colleges online. pray that time would move faster so i could get on with life. now i hope that there are more hours in each day. i can't go to sleep because i don't want the day to end. i have good days during the week as well as the weekend. i smile, and actually feel happy. i can't stop laughing. i think about things that used to make me cry, but they just don't matter anymore. there is so much more to life than the past. "All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better." Ralph Waldo Emerson. Maybe now All experiments should be made, but i will certainly be Happy being a teenager and get all i can out of it before i become an old fartt. i LOVE high school. and i never thought i would say that. but i NEVER want this to end :). Hopefully this feeling will last a while... i love it <3

i have become...older. in a short amount of time. i am listening to jack johnson. talking to a boy. and my best friend. i think i've...changed? but i don't know how. i have embraced new ways of living. but i haven't i am the same. but different. i don't know. i have become hardened to lies. but so emotional when it comes to absence..or death..or leaving. i play guitar. and sing. and let my emotions out. whether angry..or sad..or joyful. i spend my days on the computer. listening to pandora...my favorite being jack johnson radio. i miss people. lots of them. but i'm slowly becoming accustomed to life now. hopefully it won't change again. not quite as drastically anyways. i am happy. i have amazing weekends. school is actually not to bad. i enjoy my classes. i've made new friends. but i've also lost old. but i really don't think they were much of a loss. i have few friends now. but i know they are so close and dear to me. more than any i've had before. including old ones i havn't seen in a long time...and thats all i have for now.

forgetfulness.

i had a thought about something i wanted to blog about but i can't remember what it was. i guess it wasn't that important...or maybe i'll remember it later.

better days are ahead.

okay. so i know that people change...all the time. i know that people can go from good to bad in a day. or from bad to good. but theres some people that just have that personality...that no matter who they decide to be, they will always be the same. no matter who they're dating...or not dating. no matter where they spend their Sunday morning...or Friday night. some people...no matter how many times they say sorry, or call me a jerk, i will still have the same hatred, or love, for them. some people just can't change...all the way.

Some people aren't even who you think they are. i love when first impressions change. no matter good or bad. i like knowing that i know someone. being able to see through the shell that everyone grows on their emotions and seeing if they're really as happy as they're trying to seem. or as sad. i like braking through a closed door. even if there's something nasty on the other side. i just have to push until i get through. i am going to make a confession. i love school this year. its just fun. my classes are fun this semester and i've met some totally awsome people. that i had the wrong impression for the first day of school. and might still. but i love them the same. so according to the first paragraph, i always will. they're might not be perfect but i know they have good hearts.

on another note. drugs are absolutely disgusting. I will never kiss a boy that has smoked...ever...in his life. or dipped. especially not dipped. i can't believe how someone can enjoy have a piece of dirt wedged into their lip. it makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. u can trust that i will never do either of those things. talk about blehh.

this weekend is going to be good. hopefully. tonight i'm going to a pampered chef party and its going to be tons of fun and yummy food. i'm going to the ashbrook game with megan and madeline friday night and then spending the night with somebody. don't know who yet. saturday we're hanging out. maybe goin to see a movie. sunday i have church and we're going to scarowinds sunday night because we don't have school on monday :) i'm excited.