now.

is it this knot in my throat that wont go away thats making me do things that i wouldn't normally do before? things that have happened this year....that have made me question life. things that have changed my life. are changing my life...for better or for worse. and theres always a fist beating on my chest. and my head feel heavy on my shoulders. will what i've done make it any better? or just make the knot grow larger. i'm just tired. i miss people. people who made me good...made me want to be good...not that i am bad. but i could be...better. i'm tired of working for a goal that i will never reach. a goal that i'm not sure is even tactical. maybe i've wasted my life on something that doesn't exist. or maybe i'm going to. do i take the left road...or the right. or i could just plow my own path through the middle....yeah. that sounds good...for now anyways.